I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
