I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
