She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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