he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
