i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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