He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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