Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize