I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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