I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
