Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
