u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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