I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
