I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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