just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
ttyl tear gas
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
