If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
