who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
