Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize