he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
