It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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