She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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