Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I think my vagina is haunted
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
