ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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