Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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