I think im going to throw up on grandma
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
