we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
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If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
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and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize