Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
whose ass print is on the piano?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
