I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
