The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
