Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
