Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
