Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
