I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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