I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
organizing the empties. That sober.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
