i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!