Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
birth control should be required to get into college
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?