Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.