distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
