It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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