Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
