well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
