haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
