We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
