How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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