I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
