i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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