Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
