bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
So squirting runs in the family.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
