Screwed.edu
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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