I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm having to shit out rocks
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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