Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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