Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
