while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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