Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
