Cold hands, warm shart.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
