he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
So many bounce houses so little time
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
