she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
