but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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