just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
