But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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