No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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