I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
