he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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