God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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