After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
