Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
