We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
