i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize