this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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